Often, we’re looking for abuse in the victims. But abusers can be right in front of our noses. Here a few warning signs that someone might be violent and you may need to check in on their domestic partners and family:
Humiliation:
- Verbal abuse
- Demeaning the victim either privately or publicly
- Embarrassment or humiliation of partner in front of others
- Harassment of partner at work
Control and Shame:
- Use of threats (not just physical)
- Complete control over joint finances and property
- Spying e.g. monitoring partner’s email or social media accounts
- Unrealistic expectations e.g. dinner on the table by a certain hour
- Telling partner everyone thinks they are crazy or wrong
Blame:
- Blames partner and others for any and all problems they encounter
- Using guilt to control partner e.g. saying “You made me do this”
- Accusing victims of abusing them
Isolation:
- Keeping partner from seeing family and friends
- Convincing partners that certain friends or family are ‘bad news’ and should be avoided
- Actively working to turn others against you
- Interrupting plans you make with friends or family
